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Once I caught a bacon pie

Strange chap, our lad. But, bacon pie, eh? Sounds good doesn't it?
Anybody got a recipe?

He's into jokes at the moment. Except, he doesn't understand the principle, only the form.
We're struggling to think of jokes for a 4year old - they need to have vocabulary and concepts he already knows. Being simple enough that he 'gets' the principles of how jokes work would be a bonus. Post suggestions here!

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There are 27 comments on this entry. (Reply.)

My nephew laughed his leg off while telling me this one when he was about four:

Three brothers were playing in the park when one of them found a genie in a bottle. They let the genie out and it told them it would thank them all by giving them whatever they shouted out as they slid down the big slide in the park.

So the biggest kid climbs up the steps to the top and slides down shouting "GOLD!" He landed on a huge pile of gold at the end of the slide.

The middle kid goes next, and he slides down shouting "COMPUTER GAMES!" He landed in a huge pile of all the coolest computer games.

The littlest kid climbs up the steps, and he likes sliding down so much he shouts "WHEEEEEE!". He landed with a splash.

(I did the proper aunty thing and didn't ask how they moved the gold before the second kid slid down).

Bacon pie:

- Boil potatoes
- Fry chopped onion and bacon bits
- Mash potatoes, stir in onion, bacon and wodge of grated cheese
- Spread half of it in a layer in the bottom of a casserole dish
- spread a tin of baked beans over the top
- spread the other half of the mash over that
- crispy breadcrumbs on the top and a bit more melted cheese
- bake until it's done.

Can I leave out the cheese?

Where's the pastry?

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1. You probably could, but I like it.
2. Pastry is not an essential ingredient of pie!

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That's a heretical view; pastry is what makes it a pie!

Mmmm, pie! It's not even 10:30, and I'm hungry.

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Shepherds pie, cottage pie, fish pie...

Pastry? Pah.

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An incorect usage, sanctioned by time and custom.
Not to be encouraged.

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Q What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
A Time to get a new fence.

Q Why do firemen wear red braces?
A To keep their trousers up.

Q What's big and red and eats rocks?
A A big, red rock eater.

Q What's brown and sticky?
A A stick.

I think I'll leave #3 out if you don't mind

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These are courtesy of A.

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot

What's red and not there?
No tomatoes

What's green, has 6 legs and kills you if it falls out of a tree?
A snooker table

What's brown and sticky?
A stick

The carrot one should work
I think he may get the No Tomatoes one, I'll try it on him.
He doesn't know what a snooker table is, but as soon as he does...
I keep meaning to try the stick one and not getting round to it, somehow: something in me says it's more sophisticated than it appears to be at first sight, and he's only 4.

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What's white and can't climb trees?
A fridge.

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What's white and wears check trousers?
Rupert the fridge.

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But, bacon pie, eh? Sounds good doesn't it? Anybody got a recipe?

I've made something similar, and very tasty, from leftovers from a roast bacon joint, cubed and mixed with fried onions or leeks, and used as the filling for a potato-crust (which I much prefer to pastry) pie. I sometimes add a spot of thyme and some chopped garlic.

Recently I had a couple of oven-baked bacon-wrapped chicken breasts (1)left over from an evening meal, and used them diced-up with fried onions in a pie; that worked well too.

I've also used finely chopped grilled lean rasher bacon stirred into the mashed potato topping for a leftover-pork or -chicken pie - it really perks up the topping.

(1) one of our favourite meals, but it's easier to wrap and cook together all four of the chicken breasts that come in the typical pack we buy. The leftover ones are excellent cold too, when sliced in sandwiches.

Knock knock jokes are usually excruciating, but they have the formulaic thing that kids like in abundance and I actually find this one funny:

Knock knock
Who's there?
I dunnop
I dunnop who?
Eugh that's disgusting

Clearly we'll have to teach him the knockknock format quite soon.

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Many years ago I used to eat a lot of pork pies (cold pie, hot baked beans, a marriage made in heaven). The local Tesco got a batch that tasted of bacon (presumably a problem at the factory). They were gorgeous. ISTR someone did actually later produce bacon pies, but I could well be wrong.

Knock Knock, the more puerile the better (reads comments above: yeah, that sort of thing); silly puns and not-quite-joke conversations that lead to bad puns. We have lots of conversations where the rhymes get sillier and sillier - "a bad sad lad got mad cos his dad had said 'Egad! you cad!'". Thinking of new words or non-words that fit the pattern is apparently hilarious when you're 4...

Do you remember

smallclanger's joke about the duck at the bus stop? It's in his LJ, less than a year ago (so not that many entries back).

Jack likes puns but tends to veer off into surreal juxtapositions instead.
After reading Bedtime Bear we sometimes go from A Bison In A Basin through various possibilities like A Sheep On A Ship etc.

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Oh God. I remember that.

I strongly suggest backing off hard and waiting for a couple of years if you don't want to go entirely mad in short order.

Though she got the ones which go:

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Interrupting Cow.
Int...?
MOOOOO.

I remember that post of yours. It rang many bells.

I see it has a lot of followups now. I think I may have to print them out for future reference.

Now, how did the entire knockknock-mosquitoes thing go... We'd have to tell J about mosquitoes first, though...

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The only one that it actually matters for is "Amos". If you can find another name that lets you use something he knows about, you're laughing.

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Knock knock!
Who's there?
Granny!
Granny who?
...
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Granny!
Granny who?

(repeat as often as required)

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Aunt!
Aunt who?
Aunt you glad granny's stopped knocking?

I wouldn't encourage the jokes though...

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IAWTP.

When I was little, my (biological) dad's favourite joke was a variant on this one: http://mylaffs.com/jokes5/jok02169.html

Except his version involved a man complaining to his long-suffering wife about his sandwiches she made for him to eat at work, and had many more iterations.

By the end, you want to die.

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oh dear :-(

I can only imagine how hilarious that joke must be the hundredth time around.

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What you have is, I think, a normal child. None of mine really understood what made a joke funny until they were about 7 or 8. As with J, they got the format (Q - What do you get if you cross a car with a kangaroo?), but their answers were inclined to be surreal or just plain unfunny (A - A kangaroo car! Hahahahahahahahaha... etc) for ages.

We tended to just persevere with telling simple jokes (have you tried Dr Seuss?) until the penny dropped.

May