oldbloke's mutterings

THE WHELK SONG (composers West / Reine) Decca F 9568

Intro…… Doreen Stephens sings “Alive alive-o, alive alive-o, singing cockles and mussels alive alive-o”

Chorus…….. Alan Breeze. “If you don’t want the whelks don’t muck ‘em abaht. If you don’t want ‘em other people may”

Orchestra plays through the tune

Verse. “There’s a fellow you should meet, runs a fish shop down our street. He wraps it up in paper every day. When they’re crowding round the stall, he addresses one and all, and this is what you’ll always hear him say”

Chorus…….. Alan Breeze. “Nah, if you don’t want the whelks don’t muck ‘em abaht. And take yer baby’s fingers off the slab. (Vocal Chorus -They’re covered in chocolate) Lovely two eyed kippers. Take ‘em for the nippers. Take a hake or a nice cod steak. Soles and eels for the old man’s meals. They’re lovely – they’re all fresh in today. So if you don’t want the whelks don’t muck ‘em abaht. If you don’t want ‘em other people may”

Orchestra plays again,

Dialogue.
Doreen Stephens? Ooh Mum – Can I have some winkles?
Alan Breeze Them’s not winkles dearie, them’s whelks.
Doreen Stephens? Well can I have some whelks then?
Alan Breeze No you can’t. You’ll only swallow ‘em, shells an’ all. Now look what happened the other day. Your father and I were just it time to stop you swallowing the front wheel of a steam roller.
Doreen Stephens Why don’t I keep my big mouth shut!
Billy Cotton Nah then Missus. Do you want these ‘ere whelks, cos they’re lovely

Chorus…….. Alan Breeze. “If you don’t want the whelks don’t muck ‘em abaht. And move yer pram and let the others in (Vocal chorus -You’re blocking the doorway) Lovely two eyed kippers. Take ‘em for the nippers. Take a hake or a nice cod steak. Roes or trout for the old man’s gout. They’re lovely – they’re all fresh in today. So if you don’t want the whelks don’t muck ‘em abaht. If you don’t want ‘em other people may”

Orchestra plays again,

Alan Breeze All nice and juicy

Fade out…… Doreen Stephens sings “Alive alive-o, alive alive-o, singing cockles and mussels alive alive-o”