oldbloke's mutterings

Occasionally, some course or other here has catering laid on. The leftovers have often been a vital nutritional source for several local geeks. But some course organiser has gone the ultra cheap route and ordered in a variety pack from the sandwich bar just upstairs in The Precinct. And one of their sandwiches has the following filling: pasta.
What?
Pasta - conchiglie with finely diced veg and a bit of tommo sauce.
In a sandwich.

No, me neither.

A few weeks ago, I created accounts at Paddy Power's bookie site and poker site, but I never put any money in - I was looking for some deal or other and didn't like the conditions when I found it.
But of course they keep sending me emails.
Possibly because I never deposited money, or just because I hadn't bet recently, the latest mail had a "bet 10quid, get a free 10quid bet" deal.
So...
I deposited a tenner, did the claim stuff, and then bet on the FTSE100 being greater than or equal to 5871.5 at 4pm today.
Then I went back in and bet on the FTSE100 being less than ... wait a cotton-pickin minute, it ain't 5871.5 anymore!
But, phew, it's better - it's 5873.5. So I made the "less than" bet.
Now, whichever bet wins I come out with 18.33, having deposited 10. The trick is not to blow it on something else.
And there's a remote chance both bets could win!